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- Ελληνικά
In love relationships, especially those that haven't happened yet but we would like them to, the principle of mutual attraction is what will banish any fear of rejection. But, if you find it difficult or awkward, how ominous can it be for the development of an acquaintance?
The answer comes from two researchers who decided to find out whether chasing and doubt or the tried and tested principle of mutuality of desire are the guarantee of a positive outcome in a new acquaintance. The researchers' findings were published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships and are more than interesting.
Dr. Harry Reis, Professor of Psychology and Arts, Sciences and Engineering at the University of Rochester with Dr. Gurit Birnbaum, a social psychologist and Associate Professor of Psychology at the Herzliya Interdisciplinary Center based in Israel, have spent the last few years studying the dynamics in human erotic desire. The new research was prompted by a 2019 study that found people feel more secure and try harder when a potential romantic partner responds to their interest, and a potential date with them seems more appealing. The increased interest was derived from the responses of the potential partner (research team member).
So according to the recent findings, the hunt for the object of desire, in addition to the degree of difficulty, also increases ... desire. As Dr. Birnbaum noted, "easy targets" evoke a sense of desperation that alienates potential romantic partners.
The final survey, a product of three interrelated substudies, examined participants' interactions with him or her who was a prospective acquaintance - a member of the research team, however - regarding how difficult they found the other person's approach difficult, their perceptions of the value of the prospective partner's inner world (e.g, him/her as a valued partner) and their desire to be romantically involved with him/her.
The researchers found that participants:
- rated more positively the more selective and "difficult" candidates to get to know, whom they found more desirable
- were willing to make greater efforts to win them over, given a stronger sexual attraction
- identified the "more difficult" candidates as having potential for relationship development
- identified the "difficult" candidates as having potential for relationship development.
- However, this strategy is not for everyone since, according to Dr. Reis, it risks giving the wrong impression of a cold and distant person.
The happy medium lies somewhere in the middle. As Dr. Birnbaum suggested, we can be forthcoming and open to an acquaintance by showing it without revealing all our cards, rather than letting the potential partner have the joy of the discovery game, thus creating a sense of anticipation and desire.
Source: ygeiamou.gr
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